Posted by: Hoyt
7:45am

Hey, Champ. Got any change?

Posted by: Dex
7:48am

How much do you need?

Posted by: Hoyt
7:49am

About $750. Tell you what, let's round it up: how do you feel about lending me your entire life savings and half your college fund? I need to put some gas in the motor and it's nearly $4 a gallon! I'm a little short on cash this week ... and FOUR BUCKS — that's how much my triple tall decaff recaff skinny soy coffee-chino is. Hey, I'm hurting here, Pal.

Posted by: Dex
8:03am

I think my life savings wouldn't get you very far. Not even to the coffee shop in that gas-guzzler you drive. What you need is to USE LESS GAS. It'll save YOU money and it'll be much better for the planet. Here's how:

• Drive less! Can't you walk to the coffee shop?
• Carpool! Can't you share a ride with some of your buddies? You'll spend less on parking too.
• Take the bus! The bus is that long thing with ads on the side. I'm sure you've seen one.
• Don't run the engine when you're waiting! You don't need the engine on to run the radio.
• Plan your trips. Don't make six journeys when one will do!

Posted by: Hoyt
8:05am

Wow! The Hoytmeister doing his part, helping this old planet of ours — that's terrific! Let's celebrate with a nice drive!