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Black and white sketch: Granny Green and The Cat
Dex

Granny is hipper than she looks and she doesn't have that old lady smell or anything. She even recycles. And that's her cat. I'm not a cat person. But Izz is always telling me to keep an open mind.

So here's me, being open-minded: why would you want something in your house that coughs up hair, collects dead birds, and doesn't do tricks? Can anyone explain that?

Black and white sketch: Jolie and Hector
Dex

Jolie and Hector are way cool. Look - Hector even has bongoes! I think Izz wants to be like Jolie. She even did her hair like that once, but the rubber bands made her eyes water.

Anyway, those guys seem to get the whole Green thing without even trying. They don't buy more than they need and they don't create a slug trail of trash like me and Izz.

Black and white sketch: Dex's Mom and Hoyt
Dex

I know Hoyt has a good job and everything but he's a pain in the ozone. Let's just say it's hard to be green when the adults around you keep the engine running in the car so they can listen to the radio while they're pesticiding the weeds.

Come on, people, get with the program!